Does anyone really enjoy Valentine’s Day?

Or is it all just a bunch of hype that leaves you disappointed.

Personally, I just can’t win on the receiving end of Valentine’s Day – and it’s not Dan’s fault.

It’s easy enough to make him some special food item and call it good. Our first V-Day married, I made him fajitas for the first time. Huge success. The next year, I made coconut shrimp for the first time. Another huge success. I have no recollection of last year. This year I made him a pie. He’s happy.

But me? You see, there’s just too many ridiculous Valentine’s expectations that we are taught as women. Dan really couldn’t possibly get it right, because I don’t think there’s a “right” to get.

If he gets me flowers, well, thanks, that’s a nice gesture. It also cost $20 bucks and will be dead soon. There are so many other, better things that I could do with $20 bucks. Besides which, flowers by themselves are kind of a wimpy gift for a holiday, according to American advertising. And if you don’t care about American advertising and stereotypical expectations, why are you getting me flowers?

But say he got me something useful. I told him the other day that I would love to have some nice glass flour jars and metal scoops. I’d be thrilled to have them, but there would definitely be a let-down, because it’s not romantic.

What if he went all out? What if he got me some real jewelry? Well, then I’d feel guilty that he’d spent so much on me, and it would be incredibly difficult for him to pick out something that I would want to wear often. And if I wouldn’t wear it often, I would feel like it was a total waste.

So this leaves two options. The first is chocolate. He is currently on his way to New Seasons to get me some nice, milk-free chocolate. It’s not grand or surprising, but at least it doesn’t net a negative response from me.  Chocolate will be nice, and it’s sweet that he’s willing to drive out there and read a few dozen ingredient lists just for me.  🙂

The other option would be a surprise getaway. Maybe, some day, when we have money and I’m not breastfeeding, he’ll do that. That would be nice.

Am I just ridiculously hard to please?

I hope to get to the point where I seriously don’t give a crap about Valentine’s Day, so that the let-down won’t be a problem and he can just get me things like flour jars and I will be happy as a clam. In the meantime, ugh. What a dumb day.

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6 Responses

  1. I always felt this way, too!

    I don’t know what happened, but this year (for the first time) David did absolutely nothing to acknowledge the day. I think he’s too preoccupied with life at the moment.

    And I don’t know what has changed, but it just made me smile inside and love him all the more. The boys and I had a great time with lots of Valentine hurrah, but it really bothered me not at all that he didn’t have a Valentine presence of mind. It is just him, it is just where he’s at this year, and maybe it’s that I have been becoming more and more conscious of how much he loves me, so I didn’t have to have him show me in any particular way.

    Of course, it just might be because my dad sent me a lot of dark chocolate. Because I certainly would have been missing that! =)

  2. I got over Valentine’s Day pretty early. My Dan is very thrifty (cheap!) and doesn’t like to waste money on flowers and I am very picky so he doesn’t even attempt to surprise me with a present any more.

    We exchange cards and that’s all we ever do…for any holiday. If I want something, I get it for myself. Not very romantic but it works for us. I know he loves me whether or not he is spending money on me…he shows me all year long with the little things he does for me and the kids!

  3. We’re more into the constant show of affection, rather than saving it up all for one day. I’m not into jewelry, i buy my own chocolate…Though I think one year (coincidentally) “for Valentine’s Day,” Leslie bought me our Dyson vacuum cleaner. Now THAT is my idea of romance! 😉

  4. on the other hand….
    I love the ways that Mike shows me that he loves me on Valentine’s Day. I can see his heart in the way he wants to please me, and can appreciate the warmth of his true character when I know that he wants to love me in my ‘language’.
    Being broke never helps (duh) but I find we’re more creative and cut each other more slack. This year we went to a restaurant we loved when we were first married and bought chocolates to share.
    20 years of acumulated Valentine’s Day practice helps wonderfully, too.

  5. Oh, Adrienne! When I think of couples who are married-with-children and still totally in love, you and Mike always spring to mind! It makes me feel so warm and fuzzy knowing how much you adore each other!

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