Free Garbage

Let’s preface this post by saying that our apartment is less than 800 square feet.

With 2 kids, you can probably understand why I’m rather picky about what come INTO my home and what STAYS in my home.

I am very intolerant of clutter.

This doesn’t mean, of course, that my house is uncluttered, but it does mean that I drop stuff off at Salvation Army every few weeks, and that I rarely buy anything without first determining where it will be kept and whether it is awesome enough to deserve that space in our cramped quarters.

And it makes it frustrating to be on the receiving end of many Christmas gifts.

But that’s not what I wanted to tell you about. I wanted to tell you about a time that I went to Albertsons a few weeks ago.

Oh, on another bunny trail, I just have to tell you that I despise Albertsons. Particularly MY Albertsons. We have one next door to our apartment complex, and I have run there many a time to grab just a couple things when I’m in a hurry.

I’ve learned that my odds of leaving empty-handed and steaming are about 3 in 4.

Not only are their prices ridiculous and their selection atrocious, but their shelves are quite frequently empty. If I’m running to the overpriced store to grab something, I probably don’t have time to find an employee and wait while he checks in the back for more.

I pretty much always drive the extra mile to Fred Meyer now.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes!

So I was standing at the customer service desk at Albertsons to return something, and this clerk comes by and shoves two plastic packages into my hands.

“Want ’em? They’re free! They’re Rice Krispy Treat cutters!” Before I could answer, she ran off.

I was floored. First of all – RICE KRISPY TREAT CUTTERS? Talk about the ultimate useless kitchen item! Who in their right mind would make Rice Krispy Treats – a not-terribly-fabulous dessert with no food value whatsoever – so often that Rice Krispy Treat cutters would be a logical addition to their gadget drawer?

Second, what was with the assumption that I wanted them??

She came back a few minutes later, and I handed them back to her.

“Um, I don’t really want these.” I said.

“Oh, they’re free.”

“I know, but I still don’t want them.”

“Are you sure??”

“Yes, I wouldn’t use them.”

“Well, you could give them to your friends!”

“No, I don’t think my friends would want them either.”

“Oh. Okay…”

Does this make me a freak? It seemed to me like a disgusting display of how stuff-oriented our society has really become. To think that she had a hard time even UNDERSTANDING why I wouldn’t want them.

I wanted to say, “My garbage is free, but I still take it down to the dumpster!”

Maybe I should have.


One Response

  1. HAH! I love this post…

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